


queen of hearts

by worstgirl



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gore, Songfic, basically just ‘I am damaged’, don’t murder kiddos, from JD’s pov, murder is bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 22:13:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstgirl/pseuds/worstgirl
Summary: ~based on the song by A Change Of Pace~She didn’t love him anymore, did she? Her love was the best thing, the most precious thing. The one thing in life he could trust. But he’d never have it again. He’d lost the right to her heart, even when all he wanted was to make things right for her, to plant their garden in a perfect world where they could be together, forever, and no one could hurt her anymore.





	queen of hearts

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I do not in any way condone Jason Dean’s actions. Murder is bad. Don’t do it. Especially not for your girlfriend. That being said, enjoy this!!
> 
> also,, i’m not sure exactly what Veronica said when telling him to get out bc my script won’t load so uh,, sorry for that-

_ My perfect angel, staring at the stars above _

 

Veronica stood in her backyard, staring up at the tiny, pinhole pricks of light that scattered the sky. To JD, she looked beautiful, framed by moonlight, even as her cheeks were stained with tears. He knew it was his fault, the way she cried. But their love was God, wasn’t it? If their love truly was God, then she was an angel, the only perfect thing in this world.

 

_ I put my hand to your cheek _ __  
  


JD made his way over to the shorter girl, giving her a small smile, trying to be apologetic. He didn’t understand why she cried- he’d done this for her, so she could be free from the boys that tormented her. He was trying to make a better world, for her. He put a hand on her cheek, wiping away her tears and turning her to face him, gently. 

 

_ For one last kiss goodnight, one more small goodbye _ __  
  


One last kiss goodnight, and JD would leave her alone, to mourn, to cry. He gently pressed his lips to hers, trying to be gentle, loving, caring. It was foreign to him, but he didn’t know how else to say goodbye after what he’d done.

 

_ So that I don't lose my mind _ __  
  


“G-Get out.” Her words stung, and JD stepped back. “I’m- I’m done, I’m done with this, I thought you- I thought you chose me, that we could be normal.” The girl he loved whirled around before he could say anything. “I said, get out!” And he did. He got out, leaving tears streaming down her cheeks again. He wouldn’t be allowed to wipe them away this time- or possibly ever again. That was what finally broke Jason Dean, splintered him to near, true insanity.

 

_ I can't put this into words through voice or hand _ __  
  


He couldn’t just say sorry. He couldn’t just apologize. He hadn’t done enough, he had to go one step further. He returned to his house, through the front door, passing his father passed out with a beer bottle in his hand. Words wouldn’t work, he couldn’t kiss her and make it all better. His hand smashed into the wall- once, twice, three times.

 

_ Your love is the best thing that I'll never have _ __  
  


She didn’t love him anymore, did she? Her love was the best thing, the most precious thing. The one thing in life he could trust. But he’d never have it again. He’d lost the right to her heart, even when all he wanted was to make things right for her, to plant their garden in a perfect world where they could be together, forever, and no one could hurt her anymore.

 

_ The time and pain put in this will not be in vain _ __  
  


They’d come so far, they’d put so much effort into this, into them. JD had to finish this, had to wipe out every person who had ever hurt Veronica, his Veronica. Had to kill, so they could both be free. He tried to tell her, but she refused to listen. 

 

_ The love I have to share will always stay _ __  
  


He burst through her bedroom door to find her hanging from the ceiling, and in that moment, he snapped. He fell to his knees, crying, unable to look at the body of the girl he loved, the only person who had ever actually cared about him, dead. She couldn’t leave him alone, she couldn’t, she was all he could trust- she was all he loved. But he could show the world that he loved her, couldn’t he? He had to do this.

 

_ I'll take the blame for this, that's why I write this song _ __  
  


With Veronica gone, JD would take all the blame. She wouldn’t be at fault for any of this. If their love was God, he would wipe them all out, him included, if it meant that the blame was all on him. Then she was there, she was trying to talk him out of it. He was convinced she was a ghost, an angel come to rescue him- but he wouldn’t let himself be rescued. He needed more TNT, more firepower, enough to take them all out.

 

_ ( _ _ my perfect angel, my perfect angel) _ __  
  


His perfect angel, standing there, begging him to come with her. She didn’t understand- if he didn’t do this, she’d never be free. Their love was God, they would start and finish wars- well, this was him finishing one. The war between society and their love. 

 

_ I should have seen it coming all along _ __  
  


He really should have known she would try to stop him. From the first time they met, JD knew Veronica’s conscience made up a huge part of her- her compassion was part of the reason he loved her, and probably why she loved him. Her coming at him, trying to wrest the gun from his grasp, was something else he should have seen coming. 

 

_ ( _ _ why would you do this to me) _ __  
  


The shot rang out, and an intense pain ripped through his side. He fell to his knees, and the gun fell to the floor with a clatter. How could Veronica have done this to him? She’d hurt him. Just like everyone else had. Why couldn’t she see that he was only trying to show her a better world?

 

_ My perfect angel, _ __  
  


Veronica stood, hands still outstretched even though the gun had fallen to the floor. She didn’t scream, she didn’t run, she just stared at JD with wide eyes. All he could think, once he pushed away the pain of the bullet lodged in his gut, was how beautiful she looked, despite having just shot him. 

 

_ ( _ _ we'll always be the same, ) _ __  
  


He got a sick sense of pride inside him. They were the same now, they would both carry the blame. They’d always be the same. Then it came crashing down on him- he didn’t want that, he didn’t want Veronica to be the same as him. She didn’t deserve the pain he felt every time he thought about what he’d done. But now she had the same pain.

 

_ My perfect angel, _ __  
  


His Veronica, standing there as he bled. “I-I am damaged. Far too damaged.” She was crying. He was getting what he deserved, he’d hurt her, but still she cried for him. What had he done to deserve this girl? He didn’t deserve her.

 

_ ( _ _ we'll never change, ) _ __  
  


“But you’re not beyond repair.” Maybe he never would have changed. He let himself get out of control, he let his emotions take over his actions. But Veronica had stopped him, she had made him just a little better. Maybe he would never change, and maybe she wouldn’t either, but maybe the world could change because of her. “Stick around here- make thing better-“

 

_ Why would you do this to me _ __  
  


The pain got worse, and he doubled over, coughing slightly. Blood stained his lips, and he tasted iron. He tried to press his hand against it to stop the blood, but the red liquid was staining his shirt. He gave her a small smile, but was certain it felt like a grimace. His head reeled- how could she, the girl he loved, hurt him like this? 

 

_ ( _ _ we'll never change) _ __  
  


“‘Cause you beat me fair and square.” But he was getting what he deserved. He was the villain. He reached out, taking the bomb from where it had fallen, still counting down. In that moment, he made a decision. Never again would Veronica be hurt by him, never again would she feel this pain because of something he had done.

 

_ My perfect angel, staring at my blood soaked hands _ __  
  


He could see Veronica’s eyes fixed on his hand, stained red from the blood. His own blood this time, no one else’s. He pulled the bomb close to his chest, standing up. He was still taller than her, even hunched over in pain.

 

_ I put my hand to your cheek _ __  
  


He reached out, setting his hand on her cheek, her perfect cheek. The one he had held while kissing her time and time again. She caught at it, gripping his wrist. “Please stand back now.” He murmured, and she did as he asked. The last time she would ever follow his orders. “Little further.” She moved further back. He finally broke her gaze, looking down at the bomb in his arms. “Don’t know what this thing will do.” He was pretty sure he was crying.

 

_ For one last touch of life, one more silent prayer _ __  
  


He could see the blood staining her cheek, the last remnant of a touch he’d ever leave with her. He silently prayed that he was making the right choice. Veronica’s eyes went wide, and it seemed like she had realized what he was doing. “Hope you miss me, wish you’d kiss me, then you’d know I worship you…” He coughed- more blood. “I’ll trade my life for yours!” Veronica’s hands flew to her lips, and she stumbled back. He was pretty sure she didn’t approve, but through the haze of pain, he barely heard the words. “And once I disappear… clean up the mess down here.” He gave her a small smile, or grimace of pain, one last attempt at a joke.

 

_ So that I can say goodbye _

 

“Not this way-“ He thought he heard Veronica say, reaching towards him, but he stumbled back, away from her hand. The countdown flickered further and further towards 0:00, and he couldn’t let her be in the way.

 

“Our love is God.” He murmured, so he didn’t have to say goodbye. So he wouldn’t have to say that he was actually leaving. 

 

“Our love is God.” Another step backwards, another second off the clock.

 

“Our love is God.” Closer and closer to the end, and further and further from Veronica.

 

“Say hi to God.” He heard her voice, and he heard her feet running away from him, and the bomb hit zero. JD closed his eyes, one last image of Veronica’s face flashing before the bomb exploded. His last thought, the last thing he ever wanted to say, was  _ Goodbye, my perfect angel. I’m so sorry.  _

 

Then Jason Dean was wiped off the face of the earth, leaving nothing but a crater, three bodies, and a crying girl in his wake. 

**Author's Note:**

> so,, i know this isn’t my usual type of stuff, but i hope you all enjoyed it! I may write more Heathers stuff in the future, I don’t know. 
> 
> See you next post loves!!
> 
> ~PlayerTwoHeere


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